Today was my last day at work. Although I will miss all the people I worked with, I will not miss the grocery business. It was a long day, full of slacking and the condition of my uniform became increasingly worse as the shift wore on due the the effort of my co-worker Brian — attacking me with the dust mop (the big broom we push along the floor), a normal mop, cake, a discarded melon, and periodically ripping a hole in the knee in my pants until it grew incredibly large and eventually stretched from the bottom of the leg to a point somewhat higher than the knee. Afterwards I got to hang my apron up in the helper clerk Hall of Fame, and I went home.
During my two years in the grocery business I have seen much, and am a bit glad to have gained so much insight into people in general, food, and what actually happens in a grocery store. I won’t miss the crap I had to put up with, though, and the rampant understaffing (although at the time I left we had been getting progressively more hours).
I will remember out many backroom antics, including throwing wooden poles at boxes like javelins, singing along to the musak played on the store radio station, playing Jenga with high-stacked product, locking each other in the freezer and cooler (they can be opened from the inside, but not of you put a pallett full of something in front of them), throwing yogurt around, throwing cardboard, throwing rubber toys, and throwing many other things around. We actually threw a lot of things back there. Probably the best thing to throw was pallets, since it makes you feel manly and strong.
Good bye, grocery business. You have treated me well. Sort of. I guess.
